They were gnomed. That's right. It happened right here in our little community.
Sue and Darwin came home to find this gnome sitting atop their horno; and the lack of surface dust, combined with fresh prints in the dirt indicated that the crime had recently occurred. Neighbors, when questioned, scratched their heads and all agreed that no "strange" visitors had been seen in the area. But, as is so often seen in the news lately, the "Deranged Gnomer," as the culprit has come to be known, had the unmitigated gall to document their handiwork.
Imagine our shock, dismay, and shame when we learned that it was our own little Frida. Where did we go wrong?Sue and Darwin have always treated her like a daughter, so they were understandably hurt and upset when they learned of the Deranged Gnomer's identity.
We didn't see this coming. She's always been the perfect little dog. Why she would want to gnome such good and decent people is beyond us. We're looking into family counseling, and we're keeping her on a tight leash.
We'd like to use this public forum to offer our most sincere apologies to Darwin and Sue. I know that we can't take the gnome incident back, but I hope that we'll be able to find closure, and then move on.
606 Days Until the BIG PARTY!!!
